Lucy Pevensie
Queen of Narnia
Administrator
Honorable Equine
Narnian Magic: 612
 Offline
Player's Gender: 
Character's Gender:  Affiliation: For Narnia!
| My Real Name: |
Misha |
| Character's Species: |
Human |
| Notes: |
Adjusting from being a celebrated 23 year old Narnian queen to being an ordinary 8 year old English schoolchild would be hard for anyone. Lucy did as well as anyone could. But she was rarely truly happy.
For a year, Lucy tried over and over to get back to Narnia, but to no avail. She did not give up hope, though, and now, at last, her faith seems to have borne fruit. She is back in Narnia, her true home, to restore Prince Caspian to his rightful throne. A daunting task? Maybe. But she's in Narnia; she can face anything. |
Posts: 716
Referrals: 2
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« Reply #0 on: May 11, 2010, 07:27:33 PM » |
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Hey! It looks like you have a pretty good handle on Cain, but I do have a couple of things to note before I can accept this app.
First, you do need one more dislike, since you have only four. Secondly, please expand your character history and especially your personality. You do have three paragraphs in each section, but we like to see around 5-7 good sentences in each paragraph.
Also, you said, "Sometimes he thinks before he speaks, and can occasionally be uncaring." That should be he speaks before he thinks, yes? Further, you say under his character weaknesses that he can be arrogant, but in his history that he has a "deep-seated humility". How do those two things work together?
Finally, please put paragraph breaks in your sample post.
Let me know when you're done editing your post, and I'll take another look!
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CotM - Mar. 2010
Storyline
It was just a little fun, lighten up. (rubs his cheek) You're lucky you're a lady, else I'd have boxed your ears.
